Saturday, 9 May 2015

poem for the day: I Am by John Clare




I am: yet what I am none cares or knows,
My friends forsake me like a memory lost;
I am the self-consumer of my woes,
They rise and vanish in oblivious host,
Like shades in love and death's oblivion lost;
And yet I am, and live with shadows tost

Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life nor joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my life's esteems;
And een the dearest-that I loved the best-
Are strange-nay, rather stranger than the rest.

I long for scenes where man has never trod;
A place where woman never smiled or wept;
There to abide with my Creator, GOD,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept:
Untroubling and untroubled where I lie;
The grass below-above the vaulted sky.


"If life had a second edition," wrote Clare, "how I would correct the proofs."  He spent the last 22 years of his life in a lunatic asylum in Northampton, forsaken by his former friends and family.